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11-Feb-2016 00:20

', I said [butchly] 'Sorry, I want to buy a tent.' I said 'I also want to buy a caravan.' He said 'Camper?' I said [campily] 'Make your mind up.' I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of vampires. I bought a train ticket and the driver said "Eurostar" I said "Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin? I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera." So I met the bloke who invented crosswords today.I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'" "And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. ' He said 'Yes, this is my livelihood.' "So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'" "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.

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Renowned for their Impractical Jokers high-jinks, quartet The Tenderloins will be bringing their special blend of comedy to the UK in October 2017 for a 10-date tour, including a show at London’s O2.She had fronted the ITV dating show for nearly two decades, from 1985 until 2004, before settling into retirement.



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